I was running guard duty for a general that was in El Salvadore... Took him to the airport. Well, couldn't go in with the 9 so I stayed outside. Big. Tall. Parade Rest. Stoically watching everything... seeing nothing. When all of a sudden a large suburben pulls up. Driver gets out, opens the door for the passenger. Passenger hands him a hand gun which the driver pockets. Rest of his family exits the rear of the vehicle and goes inside.

Pucker factor = 0
Fear factor = significantly higher than 0

Well, I waited looking as brave and fearless as possible quietly going over the loading and chambering process (I had the clip in my left pocket and the 9MM was in holstered beneath my jacket (stupid SOF aggreement)).

Well, dude walks back out, driver gets out and hands him his firearm while opening door for him. Walks back around and gets in the truck. Truck pulls forward and stops right in front of me.

This is it, time stood still, my vision focused to just the truck (three distinct dents on the front corner panel, scratch across the rear passenger section, windows heavily tinted and a small sticker on the rearward windo with a little bug on it), a fly stops moving as it passes between us... it's wings beating once every two to three seconds, my mouth goes dry, my hands start to sweat, my legs coil ready for action, in my mind during that eternity of time after the truck stops I go over, and over, and over how I would jump to the side while pulling the clip with my left, the gun with my right and slamming it home, tubing a round before striking the surface in a mad combat roll that would allow me to return fire.

...the window rolls down (electric with a slight hitch about three inches down, rest of the movement is smooth), the driver leans forward, I've already stopped breathing about an hour ago in anticipation of this one small amount of time that would, could, forever change my life...

The driver makes eye contact with me...

Smiles and waves at me before driving away, the passenger looking on quizically.

Unfortunately there are not restrooms where I am and because I'm armed I can't go in to affect a Class I evacuation that I suddenly felt was desparately needed.