Ideas on positive moderating

[Europhyllia]

I was just thinking about what made my 'reported post' experience more positive and wanted to summarize it in case it gives anybody any ideas for doing this with less conflict.

Yup early on one of my posts got REPORTED!

I am easily ticked off about stuff like that but a few things made it easier to swallow:

1. It wasn't something I was terribly passionate about in the first place. (In fact it seemed so petty I felt kind of sorry for the person that got worked up about it)

2. The mod (JimD) that contacted me kept things in 3rd person and didn't pass any judgment on me or my post which made it feel much less of a personal attack ("Somebody reported your post. It's in violation of xyz rule"- short and sweet! ;))

3. He gave me the opportunity to fix it myself (makes people feel much less powerless) rather than doing something to my post. I went in and edited it and that was that.

Obviously if things were spiraling out of control I can see where the safest thing would be to lock or delete a post but if it's just a small problem I think it would be nice to just tell people: here's the rule violation. Please fix it.
To me criticism is also easier to take when it's less personal. No assumptions, no personal mod opinion, etc. Just 'hey it got reported and it was determined it was in violation of something'

Not trying to say our mods aren't doing a good job. I know it must be hard and thankless to be working your way through all of this and responding to stuff. Thanks for doing it! But I wanted to add a few points from personal experience that I hope might be helpful in keeping things pleasant.

(and whoever you are who reported my post, just know you are on my 'NOT a buddy list'! ;) )

[hobogato]

...2. The mod (JimD) that contacted me kept things in 3rd person and didn't pass any judgment on my me or my post which made it feel much less of a personal attack ("Somebody reported your post. It's in violation of xyz rule"- short and sweet! ;))

this is exactly the procedure that is followed. the mods discuss every action right down to the wording of the responses sent to the reporter and the reportee. there are even some form responses that are used for commonly reported items.

3. He gave me the opportunity to fix it myself (makes people feel much less powerless) rather than doing something to my post. I went in and edited it and that was that.

this also happens sometimes.

...To me criticism is also easier to take when it's less personal. No assumptions, no personal mod opinion, etc. Just 'hey it got reported and it was determined it was in violation of something'

this is exactly what the mods are trying to do.

Not trying to say our mods aren't doing a good job. I know it must be hard and thankless to be working your way through all of this and responding to stuff. Thanks for doing it! But I wanted to add a few points from personal experience that I hope might be helpful in keeping things pleasant...

thanks for the input

[BIGBIRD123]

Karin, I'm glad you finally settled down...lol. Jim was a good dedicated moderator for several years.