My quest has ended! I have found the beer that satisfies time and time again. A Russian imperial stout called Old Rasputin. The inky possible downside is it's too heavy for hanging out on the beach or by a pool. You can buy it by the single at HEB Plus (1604 and Blanco) or a four pack at $9. For taste and ACV (9%) ...........Well worth the price!

Beer advocate:
http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/112/412

Very accurate review:


Old Rasputin was a deep brown-black color, and poured with over a finger of thick chocolate milk head. It left heavy lacing on the glass and the head stuck around for quite a long while. It had a great smell- roasted coffee, honey, and chocolate were all present. The taste was ridiculously complex. It started with chocolate bitterness, roasted malt, and earthy wood, but then at the back end of the taste there was an intense sweetness that matched the honey and chocolate smells. In my experience sweetness typically precedes bitterness, but this beer was quite the opposite, which I really enjoyed. There was some lingering bitterness the whole way through the finish, but nothing unpleasant. Mouthfeel was creamy, thick, and chewy.

Wow. This is a heavy hitter- the intense tastes and a heavy mouthfeel make for a beer I typically would only want one of, but I found myself desiring more after I finished the 12oz bottle. Very complex, but tasty. Definitely will be looking forward to having this one again, as well as some other offerings from Lost Coast.