Told to me by a friend who works at a lfs
"I don't know why my fish are dying! I mean, I keep my tank so clean and I even clean my fish with a tooth brush before putting them in!"

Overheard one day at a lfs
-customer:( pointing at yellow tang) "That fish is so pretty. I bought one here but it died the same day"
-sales associate: "Do you have a saltwater tank?"
-Customer: (calm innocent voice) "No."
C'mon people!!!